I am a WAW, but do I really want to be?

[Flipper]

Lost,

You are so RIGHT! Nine and 1/2 years is great! lots of good times there...and more to be had...after you guys get through this. You probably already know this, but you are very weak and vulnerable right now. That green grass on the other side is pulling at you. Do not allow "the enemy" (bad feelings, bad mojo, whatever) to win.

Sounds like your H is being a lunkhead (like most of us). Also remember the "new guy" is one of us and he will not look any better in 9 1/2 years...LOL! Honest. We all fart, burb...eventually. Also remember that 60% of second marriages fail. Why? Maybe because we never worked things out in our first marriage? Don't give up and be a proud member of the 50%-of-marriages-work club. Food for thought. Keep remembering what you love about that H of yours.

Keep posting here and talk to the other WAW's for advice. You will need the lion's share of the patience right now. Just know that it takes time for everyone to simmer down and work things through. You both are not in sinc right now. Your timing is off with each other. Keep reading DR and posting here. Work at stabilizing things with H if you can. He has to know that you both need not panic and this thing can work out for the better.

In my humble opinion, I might tell him that you wish to rescind the D papers and work things through. He has to know that the problems took awhile to build up and it will take awhile to build back...hopefully sooner than later Don't do what I think my W is doing...she file pretty quick and now, instead of having a nice cup of coffee and starting over, we are now taling about the property settlement. She is now noticing changes in me but we're all stressed over the D.