On The Rollercoaster Ride!

[addie]

To all my cyber friends - Thank you sooooo much for your opinion. I won't contact OW - she's not worth my time and energy.

I'm feeling really down again. I found out that H has contacted OW a few times since he's been back. Yes, I'll admit I snooped but I want to know what's going on. He emailed her even last week wanting to see if they can make things work. She's the one telling him that it's over. In his last email, he tells her that it wasn't just a fling for him, that he thought it was real, he wants to talk in person, wants to continue to confide in her, etc. I'm sickened by it. Here he is telling me that he knew in his heart that things wouldn't work with her, that she's very high maintenance, poor character, not a step mother figure, even called her a slut and then he still wants a R with her. When I notice the dates of contact, it's after we've had R talks, seeking reasons for what happened and I've reaffirmed that I'm still moving with S.
I've been able to act as if and we had a good evening last night. He's been very warm, seeking physical affection, but I realize he's still lying to me.

Again, I have a sinking feeling in my stomach. I just don't know what to do.