Aud, thanks for giving me more hope to go on, and your words and hugs. I really appreciate it. Time, time, time.
lost, you too. Thanks for the encouragement. I am trying to go down the correct path. I keep falling, but I keep going that way.
running, yeah, you got me going yesterday. Much better today. I'll blame it on the hormones and move on. You asked, "After three years of separation what made you and your husband get back together?" Let me explain a little more so you get the whole picture. For the first year of separation, he set up sleeping arrangements in the basement. Son did not know this (he is 5 now). My hope was that H would realize that things needed to change, and start doing something. Up to this point we argued all the time, I kept telling him what I needed, we went to counseling, he didn't do anything. Then, second and third year I asked him to move out (again, thinking then he would do something...miss me....fight for me.....SOMETHING!!!!) But, nothing. I started seriously considering he was gay. He went to work, came to the house to be with son, put son to bed, then left and went to his house. Finally, at the end of the third year he went to counseling by himself,and all of the sudden I saw changes. Even though, at this point, I was angry and skeptical, he continued to do new things and show me affection. I shunned him often, because I thought he was faking, but he continued. That's when I started cooling it off with the OM and prepared myself to tell him about the OM. THe day I told him I asked him to come home and he has been here ever since. Looking back on it, I could have done some DB techniques myself without H doing anything, but I didn't know about them at the time. I also had felt like I had done everything to express my unhappiness about our relationship, and he just continued on his routine. He tells me now that the routine was his comfort zone, and he still gets pulled to remain there.
Saffie, our relationship needs a complete rebuild as well. Time and work will hopefully fix it. yeah, the stop sign isn't working for me either to stop the thoughts of OM. It's hard for me to stop thinking about him because I am used to thinking through things so to stop it makes me feel like I am avoiding it. But, in this case, I need to because the feelings make my mind uncontrollable. As Sara said, I need to rein in my thoughts.
klm, it's ok. I got all fired up yesterday, but am able to look at everything a little less emotional today. Everyone posts because they think that what they say will help. I got pretty defensive, but I am always better on a new day like today. Thanks for checking in on me.
