I just got back from C and it was a really hard session to take today. She said that she did not think H would ever come back, that he will be filling his needs w OW until she decides enough is enough. She said she thought H had a history of abandoning me, at that this time he did it in such a way that maybe I would take the hint and not come back. She said that she did not neccesarily think the he was in MLC, but just a self centered person who only looked after himself and not others.
Your C sounds perceptive. I think a lot of WAS around here are self-centered or they wouldn't be off with an OP. I know my H is self-centered and admits to being selfish. When I told him I thought he was selfish after I found out about the affair, he said "You just noticed that???". (Sometimes I'm not that quick!)
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She keeps trying to get me to see that loving him is not a healthy thing for me. Funny had when I had it, I felt healthy! <Sigh> I just dont know what to do with her take on things. Maybe she does see something that I just dont want to see.
I don't know I think loving someone that's messed up happens/has happened to me and most of us here of course. I think it's what you do about that which makes it healthy/unhealthy. I still love my H, but I feel healthy--but I've detached a lot and am focusing more on my kids and myself than I used to. Does realizing your H is self-centered matter so much? I guess it depends on how important that is to you: if you want a selfless husband than maybe you should think about that? Karen
