infidelity

[hoosiermama]

Actually, I'm not at all good at forgiveness. Family of origin issues and all that--mom was involved with an abusive alcoholic from the time I was 10 until I went to college. Saw the abuse cycle over and over, she forgave him over and over for beating us both up, kept taking him back when all I wanted was to be safe. That's my example of forgiveness--outright codependence. So I don't really know how to "let it go" without feeling like I have no boundaries. I've been working on that one most of my life and I know I've made progress. But I have a long way to go. I'm not sure I was ever truly able to forgive H when he left me (just as our dating relationship began to become serious, and while I was being stalked by a prior xh) to enter a monastery--one last shot at Catholic priesthood. No, I'm not making this up.

Any ideas? Because there will be a lot of forgiving to do as I move through this MLC/A/separation, both with H and with those who cut me off.