New phase - selling the house and letting go a bit.
My feelings at the moment are that I think that I really want out of the house now too. We have some debts that could be cleared from the sale, I would have some money to start my life over and it is clear that the house is not something that will make him come back, he has to want to come back to me regardless of whether we have a house or not.
At the moment I am rattling around in a house with a fairly substantial garden that I don't have the time or inclination to maintain and it has no amenities near it and as I don't drive that is quite a problem for me. It is not near friends or family and I feel kind of on my own there, especially at weekends it is quite isolating. Am I just trying to claw onto something that is slipping away from me? I feel that as he wants to sell the longer I hold on the more it will push him away from me.
I am thinking that I will call him next week to say that if he wants to sell the house I will not stand in his way and how would he like to progress?
I have checked with a solicitor and we can just sell the house and agree on the terms between ourselves and if we want, draw up a deed of separation. The house itself doesn't mean much to me, what it represents does and it doesn't look like I am going to get that back anytime soon.
Selling the house doesn't mean that I am closing the door, so long as I can keep it amicable. I wish he wasn't making me do this but I don't see that I can really make a difference other than trying to rebuild my life. I plan to rent for a while to work out what I want to do. I don't think I will get much money from the house but at least it'll be something to help me start again. That's if the house even sells, the market is really bad where we are at the moment.
I want to let out a huge sigh, am I being defeatist or realistic?
