Kat, any time ((((((Kat)))))) I posted on your board.
gfi - thanks for stopping in!
I have been accused of using humor as a defense mechanism against facing and dealing with serious issues. I guess that's what yesterday was. But you are right - today was reality for so many in this close circle we've created here.
Honestly, my own sitch is sedate right now, but I am overwhelmed by this board. So many people that I have learned to care for, people that deserve so much good in their lives, getting dumped on by the people that are supposed to love and protect them. I really can't fathom it at all.
I spent last night and this afternoon working on all the paperwork to get my Pennsylvania license. I think I will go there in early July to start looking for a home. I haven't talked to W since Monday. I still miss her and feel lonely in our big empty house.
Me45 W35 M6 T8 D16 SD11 D0 Dec 07: Bomb July 08: Busted! Thread
Hey g, thanks for voicing that about the boards - i feel the same.
Re: the house - it's really hard. Towards the end of my time in our house I thought I was going to lose my mind. Once I got into my new place and set it up, I felt worlds better!
Is it a big deal to get a new state license?
Hey, I looked at the rivers you mentioned - they were new england words with lots of syllables. Anyway, they look tough! Lots of things to hit. I'm used to big waves but nothing to hit.
I'm not really attached to the house. I'm attached to the life I used to have in it. We moved a lot when I was growing up, so I detach from places pretty easily.
New licenses are a b*tch. You have to verify all your education, training, prior state licenses, and then a ton of little things. Which means going to all these places and requesting records to be sent. It's not difficult, but it is tedious. I'm glad I had time to get a lot of it done, but now I have to follow-up and make sure things get sent. I am told in Pennsylvania it takes a couple of months at least.
The west branch of the Penobscot River is very rocky. Lots of twists and turns and a lot of standing waves. Easy to get bumped around and sucked in. There were always spotters in kayaks around the hairy spots. The Kennebec River is more just water. The flow is controlled by dam, and they have a schedule for when they open the floodgates. That is more family friendly and there are stretches where it is fun to jump out of the raft and float and swim. The water both places is COLD, though.
I talk like this is old hat, but I have only gone a few times. But I always had fun.
Me45 W35 M6 T8 D16 SD11 D0 Dec 07: Bomb July 08: Busted! Thread
Getting the carpets cleaned today. Mostly pet stains. I'm not an animal person but W is. In a weird way they are her stains. Geez, that sounds weird to say. I hope they come out.
Me45 W35 M6 T8 D16 SD11 D0 Dec 07: Bomb July 08: Busted! Thread
Just some random thoughts after all the stuff going on around here lately...
I think both sides feel taken advantage of when it comes down to the financials. I hate how years of love boils down to who gets the end table and how much per week am I worth/obligated to get/give. I think the best way to handle it is to not handle it. Let the lawyers do what they are paid to do. They will be able to separate emotion from business. We can't. They see a sort of ugly-looking end table that doesn't fit with anything else in the room. We see the weekend that we went coming through yard sales together because we couldn't afford anything better, and bringing it into our first home together, and how it made us feel so together and in love.
I'm going to get myself all worked up if I keep it up.
This idea of detachment. It's hard. I think most everyone who says they have detached are really trying to convince themselves. I don't think anyone who has feelings strong enough to stay and fight for their marriage, and ends up on the DB boards is going to be able to separate their feelings from their spouse like that any time soon. It is a long process. I have declared myself detached, rope dropped, whatever, several times over the last few months. Even now -- even though I feel more at piece with the idea of W being out of my life for good, and I honestly feel no urge to try to reach out and "fix" our relationship --- I still wake up and miss her being next to me in bed, smelling her presence, feeling her touch, having her there to share silly things like the hummingbirds out back, watching the girls play, cleaning up after supper. I don't think there is a "how to" on detachment. I think it slowly happens as you fill that huge void bit by bit.
I hope everyone one is doing well this morning. Here's to waking up on the right side of the bed!
Me45 W35 M6 T8 D16 SD11 D0 Dec 07: Bomb July 08: Busted! Thread
Oh, by the way - the reason I'm so introspective: I'll be seeing W at work today (I think). It will be the first time I'll have seen her since before D-Day. I hope it doesn't mess me up. There's detachment for you.
Me45 W35 M6 T8 D16 SD11 D0 Dec 07: Bomb July 08: Busted! Thread
