Sara has got it SO right and is very wise. Thanks for saying what you did about me also - you know that you were a complete life saver for me - and still are. I channel you, Yoyo and others on here regularly and you are seldom far from my thought....even though my time on the PC is somewhat limited at the moment, (I haven't forgotten my promise to email!!! :))
Didi, keep at it. I also was very bad with depression. I described my sitch earlier , so there is no need to go through it again. One thing I would say though is that I tended to go through cycles with BF's before I got together with my H. A R would last happily up until around the 2 year mark and then I would get unhappy and want to end it and move on. In retrospect I think that that is very much linked to my hormones and the love chemicals in my brain.In me, the addiction to another person seems to last around that time. I knew that when I met my H and we married within 1 year of meeting....so I was a bit worried at the back of my mind about what would happen at the 2yr mark. Nothing did. So I felt with him, when we did hit the bad times and I got clear enough to know that staying was the right thing to do, (even if my mind and happiness levels told me something dfferent), that I had to combat this somehow - it wasn't him so much as me. That didn't mean that things between us didn't need to change though - they did. We had deviated so much from the proper path - the engine of our M didn't need a tune up - it needed a complete rebuild.
When it comes to stopping thoughts about things I found the only way to do it was to stop thinking about everything. The Stop Sign in my head did nothing - I would drive over it in my mind....and then reverse back over it for good measure and just carry on!!! I did sudoku - I know it sounds silly, but I couldn't concentrate on anything else when I was doind a fiendish; it completely stilled my mind and would stop the loop I was trapped in at the time.
You are doing well. Keep at it.
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
