I'm glad you're a success and I'm glad you're here!
Others....
You may not be able to do this in the manner that puppy did....it isn't for the faint of heart. It fits into the AFTER THE LAST RESORT technique in DR. So onesizefitsall advice doesn't work. But...there IS a place for his method.
peace and all good, sg
I should really make an important distinction here: "No-contact/transparency" is really intended for when the wayward spouse AGREES that they need to end it with OM/OW, and to come back to their marriage and to work on it, and understands that they have to help their betrayed spouse rebuild trust. Giving these to them as some sort of "list of demands", when you first find out and the bomb drops, is NOT recommended (although you can certainly tick off the items if your wayward spouse ASKS you what it would take).
It needs to be a TEAM EFFORT between both spouses, not something that is imposed upon the wayward spouse by their betrayed spouse.
(((ChocoPup))) just wanted to thank you for revealing that man behind the curtain and for your willingness to help others in need. One of these days I hope to put your wonderful advice to good use.
I appreciate all of your input, especially the ones that were the hardest to hear. They were the ones I needed the most.
As always, in awe of you and what you have managed to accomplish.
Thanks again, Corey
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
You're very welcome. You know I'll always try to help you in any way I can. I really am a "Nice Guy" in real life, you know! I come across harsh on here sometimes because I know that it's NEEDED at times, and supplication and needy/grabby doesn't work. But it DOESN'T come naturally for me.
You're very welcome. You know I'll always try to help you in any way I can. I really am a "Nice Guy" in real life, you know! I come across harsh on here sometimes because I know that it's NEEDED at times, and supplication and needy/grabby doesn't work. But it DOESN'T come naturally for me.
Puppy/Choc.
Yeah, I think I was a little intimidated by your "bark" when I first met you here, but at some point I realized you really are a sweet, friendly puppy (although I would never want to mess with you)!
Puppy, I have a huge favor to ask of you!!! I have recently started posting to "Alexander45" in the I'm thinking about leaving forum, b/c his sitch seems so much like mine-but one year ago when I was depressed and his W is depressed and I think he is ready to give up (maybe he should I don't know). I've been giving my perspective and stuff, but I think it's over my head, and he could really use some expert advice from you or someone that is really experienced at this. I know you are busy, but if you ever have time....Thanks!!! Karen
I read you threads quite a while ago and even printed some of them out to keep to give myself a boost when I weas really down Including your telling your W what you needed for reconciliation.
You have a knack about knowing what the next step needs to be, and have helped so many people. Snow right now is getting somne very much needed guidance from you.
I am in piecing right now and trying to deal with my H and his not wantiong to talk and just brushing everything aside(and maybe that is the way it needs to be). Im'e tired and need help. H still feels for her and wants those in love feelings for me.
I would so appreciate any wisdom and help you might be able to shed on my thread. as I am about to give up. I feel that I may be starting to push H and scaring him but, he is in stall mode i feel to.
Thank you for all of your wisdom that you shaare on these boards. I know you dodn't need another wayward to baby sit but I hope you do as im'e at my wits end.
JAK
You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez
I posted to you on my thread in piecing I hope it helps had a hard time finding a post that said what It needed to to help with the sitch and this is the most current.
Aain thanks for all that you are to these boards you have a huge insite.
JAK
You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez
