Gosh Scott...from what you are describing, these episodes are very frightening to her (and your kids) and you have them frequently. You have shown her several times that these episodes *always* come back, no matter what you do or try. To me, it doesn't seem logical for you to expect her to now accept this current diagnosis. She has been there so many times with you already, and she told you the last time, if it happened again, you would have to accept her as being "done".
And then it happened again.
I think you are going to have a lot more work to do than the normal buster, because you must understand why your wife doesn't believe another diagnosis, don't you? She isn't just sounding like she wants out for no reason. She sounds like she wants out because your episodes become abusive, in her opinion.
I'm not saying you are abusive, just that she is experiencing it that way after all these years.
I think your best shot is to truly understand her position, and stop trying to get her to understand your new diagnosis. Instead, you should try to understand her very valid concern and issue with your episodes. I think she really wanted you to do better and you were both so happy together the last time you reconciled - - that is what she truly wanted. But then another episode happened and her hopes were dashed again.
Also, even given the new diagnosis and treatment, you still cannot guarantee her that you will never have another or frequent episodes again.
Work on understanding her view so you can then try talking again, but later, after some more DB-ing and reading on your part.
Have either of you had counseling, together or individual? You both could use a good shoulder to lean on for support right now.
