The Ultimatum

[fooled again]

Tipper,

It is sooo good to hear from you. I've gotten away from posting too much on many threads as I realize that there are times when I project too much of my own feelings into other's sitch's and then I want to post my thoughts but fear they may be taken the wrong way, especially b/c I've done something that many would say is NOT the right thing to do.

But one thing I want to say to you Tipper, especially you since you are young and have no children and have the world at your feet - LISTEN TO YOUR GUT!!!!! I ignored my gut over and over and over and over and over... Well you get the idea. The days I listened to my gut, I caught him again and again and again. I think God gives us intuition for a reason. It's a tool we can use or ignore. If you don't feel that you are being treated w/ respect by your H, DBing doesn't mean you have to eat sh*t, doesn't mean you have to put your own self respect aside. But the minute I knew I wasn't afraid to lose my H (and I've read this over and over in the "success stories"), I was able to face the future w/out him, and that made it impossible for me not to tell H that this was IT, NO MORE, I'M DONE. MAKE YOUR CHOICE. DO IT NOW OR LOSE ME FOREVER. Sounds harsh, I know, but I knew it was time... Something I've wanted to have the courage to do for a very long time, but just wasn't strong enough then.

Piecing sucks - BIG TIME - since once again I am putting it out on the line. But this time is different b/c I know if H f#cks up again, I am gone like the wind. I know I would not take him back again - it's like something has shifted inside and this is the very last time I will give him another chance. I THINK I can see in his eyes that he knows this is true, but I don't know. So I still have my doubts and I am going to maintain vigilance and stand by my expectations. I truly hope that you will too.

Never forget that you are fabulous, you are deserving of love and respect and loyalty. If your H doesn't figure this out on his own, eventually you WILL get to the point where you will say to him, "I love you but I can't do this anymore. When you are ready to grow up and make this work, call me. You know where I am." It took me 2 years to have the guts to do that.

Take very, very, very good care of yourself & thanks for stopping by. I will stop in on your thread when I get a chance.

FA