Plain and simple. I'm just still as devestated as the day the bomb was dropped. I love him so much. I love our life, and I konw the stuff we have had issues with, are so EASILY repairable. Well, not easily, but definitely can be fixed. We have so much more going for us than so many I see on here and with other stories I've heard. I just KNOW in my heart this is wrong, and this is not meant to be our journey.

And I'm still in that stupid mode of wanting to CONVINCE him. Like I could possibly after 2 months of trying, come up with just the RIGHT combination of words that would suddenly make that light bulb in his head go on.

STUPID I know. And I really am not this weak, pathetic person, I promise you. LOL Contrary to what I'm doing now, I've always been quite independant. I bought our first home in my name and with my credit only. I have my college degree. We chose for me to be a stay at home Mom together, and while doing that I became a self taught graphic designer ,and have worked with a major scrapbook product company designing. I have drive, spirit, gumption, and independance.

Have I convinced you yet? LOL

Seriously though. I know no other way to put it other than I simply just feel "broken" right now. Just pure devestation for myself, him and our girls.

Chris

__________
Me:39
H:39
D:8
D:4
M:9 (T 13)
Bomb 4-5-08, H moved out 6-16-08,
Reconciled and H moved back in 5-31-09
Still doing GREAT a year later!!!