shiny, it just takes time. the pain and confussion and anger just started to abate for me and it's been 15 monthes that we have been back together. it is good you can focus on the positives that you see. cj is showing love for you in his way.
my h's second ow was a head case too. very scary. i think it goes to show that there are always consequences for our actions, nobody ever gets away with anything for long!
