I have just read through your last few posts and realy feel for you. There is nothing you can do to stop your H heading of on this path , His long diatribe about what was wrong was just him trying to validate his actions and put a lid on his guilt. He would not be doing that if he was honest and realy felt he was doing the right thing deep down.
Even when you know things , reality still bites hard and hurts.
The access thing is not easy , its a situation I have been in where W has full access to our house , yet demands her privacy where she lives. For her it works well , for me its not been a problem but it may become one as I decide to move on with life.
If you still have the energy to try and save your M then it could be OK but it will be draining.
In any case there is no rush to make decisions , things will be hard enough anyway.
