Can't believe I've now been here long enough to have a locked thread ,and to change forums. When is this hell going to end?
Well, since I'm in a new forum, I'll introduce myself and give a brief background. Me 37, H 37, D6 and D2. H dropped the bomb 2 months ago that he doesn't love me anymore, knows he never will again ,and wants a divorce. I got a whopping 1 week of counseling before he declared "I'm done. I know I'm done".
He moved out this past Monday ,and as I type this he is in my kitchen right now eating with our girls. He is living at a friends and it's over an hour away. Logistically between his work schedule (cop) and where he's living and our young daughters bedtimes, he has to visit them HERE on his work nights. We live a half hour from town, and so disappearing each time he is here is just not going to happen every time.
I disappeared on Tuesday night (went grocery shopping, ran errands etc.) but tonight I am now sitting here in my bedroom, on the laptop. Desperately wanting to see him and be with them, yet knowing I'm not welcome.
I really have always thought I was a strong person. I have survived a lot. Childhood sexual abuse, my Dad dying in a horrible car accident when I was 22, my Mom having a total Mental Breakdown 2 years ago (this played largely into why I am now here with H, with the stress of the last 2 years), and now this.
But I think I'm finally at my breaking point. I'm worn down. I'm not strong enough. I love this man, I want my marriage and I can't believe that my partner of 12 years has just walked. How on EARTH do you all do it for months and even years.
I just don't feel strong enough.
I waited ALL day to see him. So excited, and then when he gets here I"m just filled with incredible sadness.
Help, anyone here want to chat with my on my thread while I"m "hiding out?"
Chris
__________ Me:39 H:39 D:8 D:4 M:9 (T 13) Bomb 4-5-08, H moved out 6-16-08, Reconciled and H moved back in 5-31-09 Still doing GREAT a year later!!!
