I agree bworl but the thing is I never did opt out of family time because it was hard to come by as a complete family. She was either busy or I had something going on. We never took time out of our schedules to actually make a family night.
As for the interactions I must admit that I am/was very hesitant on acting how I want to just for the fact I don't want to upset her. I was always afraid of saying what I wanted to because I didn't want her to think I was being fake and that this was just a ploy. The other day I told her that I am not going to walk on these eggshells anymore and I am going to be me. So I have started interacting the way I want to now and am not going to be the timid little guy who is afraid to state what he wants. The way I am approaching this now is that I am just a guy who sees something that I want and am going after it. I am putting myself back to square 1 when I met my wife and how things were. I know it can never be the same but the attitude can be.
I have realized my faults in this marriage and am changing them as we speak. Of course this does not just happen overnight but it is in progress. I know how I treated my wife and it was very unfair to her and the kids. But I know how I want to treat her now, but I don't know if I will get that chance. She knows that I am not ok with this seperation and where I stand on the whole sitch.
And yes I would definately be crushed if she were to leave for good and I need to step up my game I agree. No more being the cowardly dog, it is time for me to show her that I want to be this "other" guy that she fell in love with.
Thanks for all your input tink and Bill and all the others. This is a really tough time for me now, as I am in the process of looking for another job and have finals for school this week. But I feel that I am more focused right now than I ever have been and I owe alot to all of you for the support! Thank you!
