You have to remember that she's numb right now, so that is why there's no emotion in YOUR presence. But the depression and crying is all very natural.
I'm not a crier, in public. But in private, I have been through the wringer, and that is very uncommon for me. Even alone, I often can pull myself up, stop pitying myself, and carry on. But you know when something is truly gut wrenching when you can't control your emotions. She's probably very confused, so you HAVE to give her time to heal.
Don't push her, just let her take the pace. Don't talk about the relationship, that will just push her further away. Instead, you have to SHOW her true sincere actions. It sounds like she is comfortable enough to convey to you her inner feelings, by talking of her depression and crying, and that is good. Sounds like she is testing the waters to see how receptive you are in validating her feelings. But you have to remember that she's locked down her emotional side so she doesn't get hurt. When we talk about our most inner deep issues, that's showing vulnerability, but if we don't feel safe to express our true vulnerability, we'll suppress those emotions. It takes time.
You have to take the relationship out of the picture, and focus on being her friend at this moment. That's all you can do right now. Don't push her. Just support her.
