Not to sound boastful or bragging, but you're not the first person to tell me this either. Sigh... if only my H would figure out what he truly is missing...
You're right about the extra bit of effort. When a couple adopts a child, that child is their child. Their is no one else in connection with that child, you are Mom and Dad, the unit. But when you have a step child, you often have another parent in the picture. And often, they don't like you, or what you do for the kids, or are jealous because you are spending this or that time with the kids, etc. It is all insecurity. And it is very stressful.
And on top of that, I have/had TWO biological mothers to deal with. My focus was on my H and my kids- not the pity crap. I gave everything to make this my family because it was the only family I got, and all I wanted was a little appreciation and thanks- I didn't need fancy gifts or objects, that is all materialistic, just a hug or a kiss, thank you honey, etc. I never bitched moaned or groaned about it.
So, this whole thing is so perplexing to me how my H thinks of me, how he criticized me or how angry he is at me. I just wish my H would understand this sometimes. But his head is too wrapped around his pride and ego right now. Maybe in time it will change. I hope so. I'm just giving him space, and hopefully, he'll figure it out.
