Sex-Starved Husband. Will Work For Sex.

[Bagheera]

She told me:

• When it comes to my "morals and the things you believe in" I'm not a pushover, but when it comes to her, I am.
  
• She brought up her parents again.....her mother has a good heart, but she's a domineering woman who rules with an iron fist. .....But my wife's father is an alcoholic and a mouse of a man......her current husband is as loud as she is, but certainly not in charge of anything..... I always thought of my wife as submissive to her mother and glad to be out from under her thumb, but she says she's afraid she's becoming her mother--a domineering woman with a henpecked husband.

Greetings Bear,

This dovetails very nicely with the things that I talked to you about earlier, particularly with regard to what turns her on sexually. Weak men, like her father, TURN HER OFF. Strong men, ones who will stand up to her and not be dominated by her, are what turn her on. I'll repeat something that I said in my first post to you:

Like you, I am no actor and don't role-play well. Neither is my wife turned on by acting or role-playing. So for us, it was important for me to 'man up' both inside and outside of the bedroom in order for the situation to change for the better. No, this doesn't mean becoming a domineering tyrant or bullying jerk. In fact, my wife feels more cared for, respected, and cherished now than when we began this process: I adore her and thoroughly enjoy treating her like the queen that she is to me. It's primarily been about improving my self-esteem, being more assertive and confident, and taking responsibility for those aspects of the family/relationship that my wife would rather place in my hands (i.e. with her consent and approval) --> sex-life included. One could say the process has been one of enhancing our respective masculine and feminine roles in the relationship, which tends to turn us both on to each other.

You've already started to see some positive results from being more confident and assertive around your wife -- including 'taking' those passionate kisses. Your wife is a strong, feminine woman who needs a stronger masculine man in order to feel loved, romanced, and turned on.

And I have no doubt that you can be that man.

Best regards,

-- B.