SOB - If I had to make a guess, I would say you have taken a giant step foward.
And I would also guess, that IF you continue to educate yourself on how BOTH you and your wife have contributed to your sex problem, you and she will ultimately improve it - hopefully forever.
The key for you will be to contine to educate yourself. You still have a long way to go of understanding your wife's position as the LD spouse. When you understand it more and more, you will feel less and less angry.
The second key for you will be patience. You have to tell yourself "it might take over a year for us to make significant progress that shows itself regularly in the bedroom", and not rush it or get discouraged.
The key for your wife of course, will be to finish reading SSM and deciding for HERSELF (not for you) to put in the effort that will be required of her to bring her LD up a notch or two.
But...again my guess is that you both will make wise choices and fix this thing.
I am SO GLAD you brought up the D word. If you read my last long post, you see that if my ex-h had done this, it would have worked on me.
Suggestion: The passionate kissing you are talking about is something I talked about in NTE's thread before, but let me say it again. Passionate kisses are the gateway to a woman's sexuality. Here is a hint/key, however...it takes a woman being heated up slowly over and over for her to then get raging horny. What does that mean in practical terms? Well, think of your high school girlfriends, when you were too young to have sex yet but were on the verge of it. Those girls loved to kiss, no? Did you not spend literally hours making out with girlfriends in high school, night after night? And then one day, she suddenly says "I'm ready to have sex with you" and you're like "woo hoo!" (This may not be your story, but it is a common one). Well, it was that making out over and over that finally pushed her over the top.
Again, the practical terms? MAKE OUT WITH YOUR WIFE. Do not expect sex from it. LEARN to enjoy just making out. Learn to love how the sexual urges rise to the surface over and over, knowing you will not fulfill them. Mash on the couch like teenagers. Do this as often as she will allow you, both of you fully knowing there is no expectation of sex to follow.
If you can get into a habit of this, you will see your wife get more interested in sex in general.
This exercise is not to be used for everyone, because those who are too bitter to do it without expectation of sex just should not do it.
But those who are truly trying to help their wife to raise her desire level would be wise to learn that MAKING OUT WITH her will help her! It will not immediately produce a sex vixen, but it will slowly raise her sex hormone level the more you do it.
Keep us posted, SOB.
Good job.
Stay patient and loving.
Keep educating yourself about how SHE feels (through listening to her and reading the experiences of others and reading literature by experts).
