I agree, he's an adult, he can use the $ he gets from his gigs to pay the dentist, I bet drugs aren't cheap, so he has to put his priorities in order, if I were you I wouldn't give him anything. I know I feel like I've been kicked in the teeth when I used to help stbx with stuff (not financially, but other little things) then I'd see the tag of the ow's on his car, reminding me that he went back to that crazy woman and has broken my heart thoughtlessly for months. He made his bed let him lay on it.
I know it is sad going downhill, and you are right, he is incapable of a healthy R due to his issues, our MC told stbx at the beginning that unless he treated his D, it'd be like a fog and we wouldnt be able to get to the core of our problems. Blaming the M is the easy way out, much easier than stop the drugs and going to the Dr., as Bridget said, they have to fall flat on their faces and hit rock bottom to give them a chance to see what mess they've gotten themselves in... sadly, even then some stay in the blaming course and never learn a damn thing (stbx is the poster child)
It's hard to let go hon, I truly do know how you are agonizing. Here is a link of when I still struggled to "save" my stbx and the great advice I got: (start reading from my post on Tues, Jan 22)
