I understood 2 or 3 things

[hopeful4her]

rop, hope your Fathers Day went well. Sound like the kids were with you, anyway.

Hope you were strong. Getting the papers sucks. I have no idea how I would react.

[rop]

Hey tal, thank you for your support - I agree, she is a lost soul - I think I finally figured out how to deal with her, and ironically enough a big wake up call has been to read MIC for dummies in the H4H thread - soooooo funny.
First - no more following her mood swing - she is gone and that's it.
Yesterday she came back from her trip, she asked me to go with her to do grocery (she new she had begs to carry), I accepted and did the guy thing, that is something I like a lot, but I stayed in "my world", she was needy, she asked me to stay for dinner but I didn't feel like... bye bye.
I didn't talk R at all - following my goal.
Today, she was an all different person, detached and stressed - but I stayed in "my world" I didn't ask what is wrong or if she is upset or anything.

I am working out a lot, and I feel good - too bad I am crazy busy because I feel sizzling hot (I got burned by the sun of Santa Cruz this Sunday) and I would like to go out a bit and meet people... maybe next week

[rop]

H4H - I had a wonderful Fathers Week - Stay with the kids gives me so much - they fill my heart with joy.
In this months, since the bomb, I actually forgot to enjoy my kids, I have been so miserable that I could not be the happy goofy dad I use to be.
This week we had together has been different, was like vacation, I took time off for them and we had tons of fun.
W was jealous.... a lot.
I think I see some light, also if I know that down times are going to come back again.... hopefully are going to be short lived

[fightingirish]

Rop,

Its funny they have not problem to "use" you for stuff (grocery shopping)... those little things that she is taking for granite, I only wish I had someone to help me with that stuff.

glad you had a good father's wk.. kids are great.. and they do just make you smile.. :)... I don't know what I would do without mine..

take care..

((((hugs)))

[rop]

tal - if you were living closer I'd help you with the grocery!!! I enjoy that... move heavy stuff, fix things, you know, guy's territory.

Last night at 11:00 W called me at the phone... too late and I didn't answer, I wanted to go to sleep. Then a 3:00 AM she calls again!
Ok I pick up the phone, she is sobbing, she is reading a book called "7 habits of a good marriage" or something like that. She is sobbing a lot and I don't really understand what she is saying, something like she doesn't know what went wrong, and if is she a good person or not. I didn't know what to answer so I turned the question: "do you think you are a good person? - the important thing is that you feel in peace with yourself"... I know she doesn't otherwise why the call?
At the end we talked an hour or so - I was funny, I made jokes - I think I was at the top of my game, without ever thinking.... maybe she wants back.... now it doesn't really matter, I am not going to fall for that... her mood swings are not going to rock my world anymore.
She said something like "I was "rooted" to you and I wanted out but now I am lost" - I though it is funny how our mind works.
Anyway.... I'll write here more of her mood swings when they happen.

[runningoutoftime]

Rop,

I think her confusion is a good sign, but just because I say that I don't want to give you hope. Spouses can yo-yo for a long time (and there are plenty of people here who will tell you that!), and that can be painful for the LBS so I don't want you going there.

Let her contact you. And when she does, just be a great listener and be a friend like you are doing. That way there's a *chance* of reconciliation, and if not you will be this amazing great listener and friend that the next woman is never going to want to let go of!

I hope you make some great plans for the weekend!!! The weather has been awesome lately... hot, but a nice breeze here in So. Cal. I'm sure it's paradise up where you are. Get out and enjoy it.

One more thing, when you have the kids do SUPER FUN family-type things together. Even take photos and give them to the kids. Let her miss out on fun family events. Let her regret what she has lost. Hang in there buddy!!! Try to enjoy the time for yourself too.

[rop]

hey Running - she is confused all right but I am not.
I don't have hopes - I have plans - very well thought plans. I cannot believe I reached this point, but I feel in power like I didn't in years, I feel like a well oiled war machine.
W called 3 times today - nothing really, I shouldn't have even answered, but it is a treat I am going to use during the evenings, when I MAY be out. She also asked me to have the night free for her birthday - I said sure!! Have fun!! She made the point 2 or 3 times that she is going out with some of her girlfriends... (not OM).
I just said: SURE - have fun, I'll keep the kids... no comments.
Now I also started to talk with a low deeper voice, I am enjoying this new me.
The scariest part is actually if she wants back, I thought about it and I don't think I want her back - I feel like she is a badly used car....

[runningoutoftime]

Hee hee.... gosh I know exactly where you are mentally. Don't discount the woman yet, but do work on YOU and enjoy the time you do have to yourself and the time you do spend with your children. You sound like you are detaching and that's good. Try to stay positive.

By the way, your wife may be a badly used car right now, but that doesn't mean that at some future date she can't be repaired. Don't totally discount the woman... although once you truly detach reattaching isn't as easy as one expects. I think the LBS sometimes enters their own MLC.

Well enjoy your smokin' hot bod and that deeper sexy voice you've found!

[rop]

Hey Running - I do discount the woman, she let me down big time - if in the future she is going to show me A LOT of commitment, I may reconsider, mainly for the sake of the family.
This morning she came over to pick up a toy my son left here and now supposedly really really wants. While outside I see her at her cell, I don't know with whom she is, but I assume OM, so before living, while she is at the phone, I go to her and with a voice to envy Berry White I say "by baby", like if we just had a night of lust, and then a big smacking kiss in her cheek. I loved that, I hope OM was at the phone just to mess up with their minds.
Anyway - she calls me back after an hour - she asks: do you come this evening with me and the kids to swim? ----- no sorry tonight I am going out.
Maybe there is not interest on her side, but I still love do give all these mix signals, and make her wonder if I am still interested in her or not..... give her something to think about... drag her in "my world".... I am not the puppet anymore, I am the puppeteer.... or at least this is what I am trying to do.

[rop]

I think the LBS sometimes enters their own MLC.

You know Running? I think you are right - Right now I am probably in a kind of early MLC - I mean I am growing longer hair.... I bought a bandanna!! I feel youngish, who knew....