Mulesqb still getting kicked in the a$$

[Bworl]

You don't know that you would have to lose the house if she left. I would presume that your income has been sufficient to cover the mortgage to this point, so it's possible that you would be able to keep it. You might just have to buy out her portion of the equity, which sounds like it wouldn't be much right now.

I still struggle in your sitch with how available to be to your wife. To me it seems a positive that to this point your wife has been open with you about her struggles and feelings. While I know it is often painful, there are ways in which this looks to me like she continues to reach out to you through these conversations. Probably for your emotional health it's bad, but I wonder if it's not good for your relationship.

And don't start doing the looking backwards thing. That's what the MLC'ers do, eventually deciding that our entire lives together were horrible. I always thought that marriage was 100/100 if it was to work right - that both of us had to give 100% of themselves to it to make it work. Yes, perhaps you're the stronger one, but that worked ok for you for a long time. Don't start second guessing yourself now.


In the end you are still faced with a wife in crisis. It's a lousy position to be in, but you're the man, you're the stable one, and it now falls to you to try to hold things together.


Long standing marriages, particularly with children involved, should not be given up on. If your wife is incapable, it falls to you. You sound like a strong, confident, and intelligent man. I have no doubt that you have it within you to continue on.


You'll need ways to keep your emotional strength up. Don't feel bad for taking time for you.


And I think you should continue to try your best to normalize things with your wife. Understand her struggles, empathize with her a bit, and try to keep life with you and the boys as normal as possible.


She has been amazed at the way you've stood by her. Your goal should be that this stays true till whatever end comes along.


Strength and honor.


Bill