You will be reading about a man who neglected his wife for a long time, was given a couple chances to change but only did so temporarily, and now is faced with a wife who proclaims herself done.
Mostly read about how it changed HIM. Read his first post to see how he USED to be.
Then read the rest to see how he is NOW. And pay attention to the thoughts he writes down concerning how he FEELS about who he was versus who he is now.
You're early in this marriage Jonzy. Your wife put her foot down and said that it can't be this way anymore.
No doubt she has her faults as well, but you're the one who got called on yours. Have you changed? Have you at least identified what it is that needed changed (and I mean in HER eyes, not just in your personal assessment)?
I read your thread detailing your conversations and interactions. You come across as a scared child when interacting with her. You are tip toeing on egg shells, scared to death that you're going to say or do the wrong thing, and in the process you say AND do the wrong thing too often.
Worse yet, you come across to her as someone who is ok with your separation, who isn't exactly sure WHAT he wants. And you come across as kind of weak.
A woman does not want a weak, indecisive man.
When you've gone through the personal side of this process and made good and significant changes, it gives the ability to interact with your spouse from a position of confidence and strength. That's what you need desperately.
You're treating her like she's a friend. Starting treating her like your wife, the woman you love. And I know, there are certain things that from a marriage saving standpoint you can't say or do right now. But that should NOT impact your ATTITUDE when you're with her. That ATTITUDE is driven by your perception of her as your wife.
Would you truly be happy if she left for good but it made her happy? Hogwash. That's one of those greeting card things we say to make it look like we're selfless. You love this woman, you want her to be your wife forever. If she leaves for good you will be devastated. That's the truth.
And if that's the truth, you need to step up your game.
No more cowering, tentative, hesitant Jonzy. Be the man.
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
