Originally Posted By: lodo
I'm glad you're here posting, Choc/Pup! You give a lot of consideration and support to people in need and it's appreciated.

I may not agree with you all the time, but it's good to have the option of hearing a point of view that's different from my own. As things have played out in my own sitch, I may have done better in adhering closer to your advice, but it's hard to choose the right path when you're in the midst of emotional upheaval.

Infidelity is the one area where DBing is a little shaky. We definitely can improve ourselves and we benefit by employing DB techniques in our own lives. But our spouses HAVE to be remorseful if anything can be resolved and they have to end the affair.

Thanks to SG for letting bygones be bygones!

lodo


Lodo,

If you agree with me all the time, one of us wouldn't need to be here. I try to provide a perspective that's a little different than the average one you get here, and one that worked for me in my own life.

I also try to bring whatever style to bear that I feel is MISSING from someone's sitch; i.e., if they've been too stern and controlling, then I advocate a more loving approach, and if they've been too supplicating and doormattish, then I advocate laying out some firm boundaries.

DBing works. I believe in it. GAL and 180s saved my marriage. I just think there are some additional dynamics at play in cases of infidelity, that require some additional strategies and tactics WHILE you DB and make yourself the better option. The recipient is always free to use, or reject, my advice, as it should be.

Puppy/Choc.