July 8: "Dear lodo - Oh, what a grand mess I've created for myself. I've been through an incredible range of emotions in the past six months. At Christmas, I was so confused, and overwhelmed, and a little lost - so excited about all of the new things and so disoriented by everything coming to a halt and returning home. Then the burden of trying to fix things over the phone and still be involved in things, and just not wanting to deal. Feeling like I didn't have the energy to mend things. Denying interest in someone else, because I didn't want to be interested in someone else. Not knowing what I wanted from you. Feeling totally detached from my instincts, my emotions, unable to control my reactions. Feeling like I just needed time and feeling totally relieved when I told you that. Knowing how much I was hurting you and still feeling a little relieved and a whole lot sad. Sad for all the things we've shared, and share. Trying to figure out what I was missing from you that made me interested in someone else. I do love you, lodo. Can you see how this hurts me too? I guess, though, that I have to tell you it's over because I'm not ready to be with you right now. Honestly, I'm excited to try things out with OM, even though I can't believe I am. But I still want to see you and talk to you - can I do that? I'm sorry to be hurting you so much."
She ended things with OM 2 weeks later becuase she couldn't relate to him like she could with me.
"ME. Me, me, me, me, me, me. Me; me, me. Me, me me me; I, me, me, me, mememe."
Quote:
Sept: "You must know I've been thinking about you a lot. I feel so stupid that I put you through such crap. I can't explain my narrow-mindedness, my ... I don't know.
Here, let me help you, Mrs. Lodo -- "self-centeredness."
