Wow this just keeps getting better. I just got a text from the W.
"I feel terrible about the way things went today whenever you are ready I would like to talk about it with you"
She also called earlier and left a voice mail that said our son was a little upset and that she was sorry for being bitchy earlier.
What does all that mean? She tells me to leave her alone and then she keeps trying to talk to me? Does she just feel guilty?
I'm not going to contact her. I'll see her on Saturday when I pickup the kids. I plan on being upbeat, but not there for her. Is there something I should say to her then? I was thinking of bringing up the fact that while we are stilled married I don't want him around the kids. That's not fair to them an will only confuse them.
Lynn
Lynn,
This is a great opportunity for you to enter the next phase.
DO respond to her, but respond thusly:
"(wife), there's nothing to 'meet' about. There are really only two likely topics -- our marriage, or the end of it. I refuse to discuss the former so long as you've invited a third person into it, and the latter is better handled by attorneys.
I do appreciate the apology for the tone, and I'm sorry about that too. See you Saturday. - Lynn"
This will be your standard response in the weeks ahead, unless and until she agrees to end her affair. Your repeated position of it will drive her NUTS, but if you stick to your guns, she'll eventually stop asking to have R talks with you.
When you ARE ready for a talk, YOU will initiate it, not her.
There is a 3rd category of topic, and that's the kids/HH logistics. That can be handled via e-mail, text message or businesslike phone calls.
