Nothing's changed. The only thing is that she got to you before you got to her, but NOTHING in the dynamics, nor what your strategy should be, has changed.
What should you do?
Quote:
She said were separated and it's not an affair anymore, it's a relationship.
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You say:
"Look, (wife), you can delude yourself if you wish. I choose not to play those games, and would rather deal with reality. So long as we are married, make no mistake, you ARE having an affair, and it is totally unacceptable, and incredibly disrespectful."
While I'm not surprised (was just talking about this on another thread today), I must say that her C is a quack. Many are, sadly.
Do you REALLY not want to try to save your marriage, or are you just feeling hopeless? What really -- REALLY -- changed from before her talk with you to after?
This is why I wanted you to approach her two weeks ago. Now we're behind, and we have some work to do. The GOOD news is, people in entrenched affairs lose about 20 IQ points (NOTE: entirely my own theory, unsubstantiated), so we'll have THAT going for us . . . which is nice.
Chin up -- we've only begun to fight. But only YOU can decide if you WANT to fight.
