Start of the long and bumpy road........

[TwinDad]

Thanks Ladybug! That is exactly my plan. It is just hard to keep my patience being what appears to be so close to my goal. I big part of me just wants to say enough of this BS.

I must admit I did let Fathers day get to me a little but didn't show it. It just hurt a lot that she couldn't find it within herself to wish me Happy Fathers Day. It was almost like she was making a conscience effort not to. She would tell the kids to tell me happy Fathers Day, but wouldn't say it herself.

It took some good DBing on my part not to let it get to me. At least she showed it throughout the day through actions

I did have my first IC session yesterday and before going I asked my W what she viewed the issues to be:

1) I need to be more assertive (which she affectionately refers to as growing balls)
2) I need to not be controlling
3) I need to not be passive agressive
4) I need to stop being smoothering

The good news is after saying these things she did actually give me some credit by saying I have got better in these areas. 3 and 4 are relatively easy, though I do tend to slip on 4 because I am a giver. The tricky part is th ecombination of 1 and 2. They conflict in many ways and I would just love to know how to be assertive without coming off as controlling. I guess this is my biggest challenge and where the work will be done.