Here goes..

[jon2911]

[She has allready changed back to her maiden name. does that matter?

she likely does think i will do anything to get her back and the old me will be back. in fact she said before if i don't have any consequence,

This is all normal. Also be aware that the consequences comment means she might feel like "punishing" you for a while. Making sure you understand how much this hurt her. The maiden name is part of that, my W did the same thing.

Just keep listening and affirming what she says.