I am glad to see that you are here. I thought you were only in SSM and was going to recommend you come here.
I am terrible at offering concrete advice... but I will tell you this anything is possible. You have to want it bad enough and work really hard. And ~HE has to still have some love deep down in there. Buried .....
First I would recommend you take care of you, look great when he comes over * ( even though you feel like S**T) STOP immediately any type of talking or behaviors that would be construed as pressure.
Trust me he is in pain too they just show it different and he has had more time to process this. he was thinking about this long before 5 weeks ago.
In his mind you will never ever absolutely never change and even if you did it would only be for a bit and then it would go back to life as usual.. And he cannot bear to live like that anymore.
So when he sees you be pleasant and upbeat.
Do not ever become a doormat. Also do not bring the past into the present. Work form now and forward. He is living in the past with his pain and when you dredge it up you make him feel worse.
I do not want to give you false hope either like you said in the SSM thread but I do want you to know my H said all those things. I filed on June 1st for a D and lost weight like you have and was miserable.
and make no mistake if and when the reconcile comes it is no walk in the park. You will still have to work your a** off and keep the changes real and going. I have been reconciled for almost 2 years now and I can say it is just getting comfortable.
No more walking on eggshells and I still am reading and working on our R everyday.
It is not easy but it is possible....
I will try to keep in touch... and post when I can.
If you ever have a question feel free to put it in my thread. Also as far as the kids try not to let them see you upset and get strong for you but especially for them.
All my best to you love you can do this......
Put all your effort into saving this Marriage ..... if it fails worry about that then .....but for now put all your heart and soul into this..... for now is all you have.
Take a deep breath wipe yourself up off the floor and get to work,,, work on being the best you possible. This is the hardest thing you will ever get thru and also the most worthwhile when you succeed.
