another date set today!

[jandn]

Yea if I point it out, Im sure W will say "well, you wont have to worry about me saying it anymore" no matter how nice I say it to W but maybe I am wrong.

Talked to relator. Offer was 18k below asking, 5k below what I paid for it 3.5 years ago. Knew I should have listed higher and not used my W's friends mom. Anyways told I would meet with relator on Sat morning. Could counter I guess. This is what sucks about it. If I knew W and I were going to work (and she would have to dimiss the D), I would let it go for whatever loss. Im pretty sure thats not the case so I want as much as I can get, but not let W get much which I know probably wont happen.

I brought money into this house from the last house, granted we werent M most of the time we lived in that house, but we both lived there and I paid everything as I always have.

[jandn]

And on another token, I was talking to L yesterday about child support and how I pay 2 weeks and W pays 1. I said I would like to keep doing that to lower my support so when they stop going to daycare that is bank. He said I should just pay all to her and not worry about daycare. Said he would probably go off the average income for the past 3.5 years and I was like it should be off this year cause not able to work like I used to be.

[jandn]

Picking up D left phone in car and of course when ever I dont carry phone, that is when ppl call. Was the W. Didnt check it for over an hour. Pick S up and missed another field trip today so tells me how he doesnt like the place. Like the 2nd one he has missed, the girls their tell me he was late again so wasnt able to go. S says "Im not mad I didnt go" tell him I like his attitude about it.

So get home making dinner for them decide to check vm. Really long one about last time W is going to try to get a hold of me, tried the last few days to get in touch, S doesnt like this place is always crying about going and how W wants to take him somewhere else. Also talked about setting a time I drop them off in morning, making time to get her stuff and the cats, and of course about the house. Said something like "its a great start for us no matter what happens". My mind wants this to be a positive but I know W is saying it as if a great start to talk about getting things split up and sold, one less thing to worry about.

So anyways, after dinner I ask S again what he doesnt like about his daycare. Tells me missing field trips. Says he doesnt like to go into the 2 and 4 yr old rooms when everyone else is on the field trips. Also said doesnt like rest time. So, I need to approach W with this cause she doesnt really know why he dislikes that place. If he went reg time like everyone else, he wouldnt miss field trips and would probably enjoy it. Guess I can try to ask, "well when he has field trips, can he just stay with me?" Actually this Thursday he has one and I drive right by it on the way to W. So easy to drop him off and S off at 7 cause they are only a mile away, but no, I have to take them to W.

[jandn]

While making dinner, get a text from W "please have S call me, please". Have no idea what that was about but I was like "you just saw him this morning and you will see him tomorrow morning". If S wants to call W no problem, but this was kinda weird. Tonight when we got home, S asking about sleeping in my bed with me. So I finally gave in. He mentioned something about "mommy missing me". I was like, hmmm, whats going on here.

Relistened to vm, and W says about the "good start for us even if it doesnt work out". So, probably talking about the offer.

Went to divorce support group tonight. Topic was anger. Why cant W go to one of these and see these discussions. Was 3 of us guys, one I had meet before and another new one who has been D'ed for 4 months now, still hurting. Feelings were the same on not wanting to even think about being with another person right now. I dont know about them reconciling, but I sure would like to most of the time.


Anyways had more to write but am pretty tired. Will have to face W in morning about everything and how she has been trying to get a hold of me and discuss things. Am I doing this dark thing right or need to communicate more with W? I know to a certain extent I have to communicate, but with L's involved, its like a battle field now. Just funny how court date was yesterday and now W is willing to talk about whats going to go on paper and all.

[jandn]

This morning I text W about what the target time has been for dropping kids off and tell W it would be easier just to drop them off where they go and S would be on time for field trips. And how that is what S told me he doesnt like and rest time.

W replied with "didnt know he had one yesterday, neither did he, he was crying all morning dreading it. sorry my work time isnt convenient for you and daycare. so did we miss our target time this today for drop off. anytime youd like to have a real conversation about our kids please let me know. ill always make time to discuss my kids. your insults are pointless. ive tried several times to communicate with you only to be ignored. so when will the kids be here today?"

Showed up right on the dot when I said I would. I have no idea how I have insulted W. Seems W tries to insult me every chance she gets. So I drop kids off, walk away, and W calls my name. "we need to talk about the kids" Kids where right there so didnt want to talk. "well you said you didnt like not seeing them from thurs to tues" Said its ok for now, and Friday I asked you a time to meet on Sat and you even asked where then didnt hear from you. "Maybe I was out of town". Said ok, I need to go to work. S came running out wanting a kiss.

W seems like she has so much control. Gets to see them everyday except F morning til Sun night when its my weekend. Hate dealing with W and all these issues and how I feel Im getting drove into the ground.

[Arthur]

I got a bit lost above with that conversation jandn, but just try and avoid any conflict in front of the children at all. Seems your son is really affected by this and trying to patch things up. Whether what he says is true or not re mummy missing you, be careful Might just be his wanting it so bad.

not meaning to pour cold water on you at all, but just want you to be careful.

W is angry, let her be...Mine is too, but we have MC and it seems he's noticed so I'm hoping we get some progress there, more for her own and my kids benefit as seperation is still a reality. The anger though will ruin hers and there life whereas i'll be gone and fine.

I dread if seperation happens to and being that fortnightly weekend dad. Taken the boys out a couple of times to places on a Sunday and see all the families there and it's heartbreaking so I hear ya bud.

GL

[jandn]

Yes sorry about the confusion. Just really hard to set a time to sit down and talk with W. W thinks it so much easier just to talk on the phone, and seeing her in person will just want to fight with her which isnt the case. Was thinking I am going try to get some texting going with W today on how her day is going and try that approach.

As much as I want this to work, I just cant stand talking with her. Its like everytime I try, it just hurts, and I feel anger from W cause I am putting my foot down doing what I feel I need to do.

[Racefan]

You said early on back on your first post, that was 1 of W's big complaints that you never talked & you said you weren't a good communicator. If it would be a 180 for you to text or communicate openly then do it, then take a step back and watch what happens. Communication isn't all about talking, but it's listening. Like I tell my kids; communication is 90% listening & 10% talking. Just a thought have you asked her what it maight take to fix this? I haven't read your whole sitch just bit's and pieces. It's 1 thing to be a door mat and totally another putting down some boundaries. I will catch up on the rest of your story as soon as I can and go from there.

Like I am the 1 to say this today, but stay positive stay calm and work on yourself

Brian

[jandn]

I read in "Winning your W back before its too late" that you need to ask what miracle it would take to reconcile, but I thought this was against DB. Also says to ask on scale 1 to 10 something about where we stand and what it would take to make it closer to a 10.

W just seems to far down the road on this and wants to get everything agreed on and on paper and be done. Pretty sure W knows I dont know want this.

[jandn]

Getting ready to go to bible study. W didnt respond to 1st one, but did the 2nd one "if you would like to talk call me at this number". Well not going to bother her at work and not talk in front of the kids. W is being really business like, among other things.