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LolaL #1486265 06/18/08 10:43 PM
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Originally Posted By: LolaL
She will know. Women tend to be observant. She may not let on that she knows, but she will know. It will be in the way you are, your tone of voice (or email), the fact that you are not badmouthing her friend. It also says volumes when you don't go overboard and try to tell the friend to let your W know. Rest assured, she will.

Case in point, years ago I was dumped by this guy, and a friend of mine ran into him. She told me how good he looked. I knew it was over.

A few weeks ago, a friend of mine ran into my H, and told me how miserable he looked. I knew he was hurting as much as I.

Its just the way of women.


So you agree with my reply..? i am happy.. i am keeping busy.. fulfilling my potential so to speak.. not sitting around with the bad crowd drinking beers every friday, rather going to play sports.. and volunteering.. and fixing ME..

redsawks44 #1486286 06/18/08 10:55 PM
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i made it thru my whole workday without calling her..yay me.. i wonder what is going on in her mind

Last edited by redsawks44; 06/18/08 10:55 PM.
redsawks44 #1486288 06/18/08 10:57 PM
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Take care of what's going through your mind, and you'll be ok!

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Originally Posted By: dry_heat
Take care of what's going through your mind, and you'll be ok!


Thanks Jeff.. i am off to my couselling session... (it's gambling night counselling) ... i am starting to ache from the yoga LOL...

redsawks44 #1486308 06/18/08 11:06 PM
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Yes I agree. Concentrate on you, the rest will fall into place.


Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..

LolaL #1486380 06/19/08 12:17 AM
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Hi redsawks,

Welcome to divorcebusting.com. I'm glad you're here, although I'm sorry for the reason.

I'm so glad you've talked with JoAnn. I've seen a few of her posts, she's awesome. (She is also a DB Sex Coach!)

Anyway, you've gotten some great responses. What I'd like to add, is that you should work on consistency with the items in your first post....and REAL GIVING.

Fun is important, but it appears that to your wife, the follow through on commitments is really important to her.

Give to her as SHE would like to receive. Not just STUFF, and not just in starting a family, but with the responsibility/character items as you described early.

FOLLOWTHRU.


(Oh. And Whitesox.)


sg
Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
redsawks44 #1486469 06/19/08 01:15 AM
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Originally Posted By: redsawks44
[She has allready changed back to her maiden name. does that matter?

she likely does think i will do anything to get her back and the old me will be back. in fact she said before if i don't have any consequence,


This is all normal. Also be aware that the consequences comment means she might feel like "punishing" you for a while. Making sure you understand how much this hurt her. The maiden name is part of that, my W did the same thing.

Just keep listening and affirming what she says.


Me: 30
W: 28
T 8, M 6
S: 7-27-2007
W filed (again) 3-2011
Served 8-2011
Responded, now dark
"I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear" MLK
redsawks44 #1486470 06/19/08 01:15 AM
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Originally Posted By: redsawks44
[She has allready changed back to her maiden name. does that matter?

she likely does think i will do anything to get her back and the old me will be back. in fact she said before if i don't have any consequence,


This is all normal. Also be aware that the consequences comment means she might feel like "punishing" you for a while. Making sure you understand how much this hurt her. The maiden name is part of that, my W did the same thing.

Just keep listening and affirming what she says.


Me: 30
W: 28
T 8, M 6
S: 7-27-2007
W filed (again) 3-2011
Served 8-2011
Responded, now dark
"I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear" MLK
jon2911 #1486739 06/19/08 05:45 AM
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Hi Jon,

So we walked again tonight for about an hour and a half.. was good.. and this time after the walk when i thanked her she clearly said "thank you it was good"...

i almost fell going from the sidewalk to the street, she went to catch me...

we chatted alot about general stuff, how was your day etc etc..

i stepped in my dog's poop, we laughed our heads off..

then we talked about the note from the cats i left this morning :
it said "dear Mama, we ated , luv the kats"

she said it made her laugh this morning.

The she started asking me what i was doing friday..i was supposed to goto my cousins (we both were)..i said no my plans have changed. She told me what she was doing.. (why would she tell me???)

Then she told me what she was doing sat and sunday and she asked what i was doing..

i just stayed happy.. i told her i would be making our lunches for next week..

and maybe dinner sunday night, she still wants the realtor over on Sunday \:\(

thoughts??

She just made me something to eat.. i wiol thank her again and goto bed..

tomorrow she says she will goto the gym after her work, she knows i am doing yoga at that time tomorrow....

goodnight all

sgctxok #1486740 06/19/08 05:47 AM
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Originally Posted By: sgctxok
Hi redsawks,

Welcome to divorcebusting.com. I'm glad you're here, although I'm sorry for the reason.

I'm so glad you've talked with JoAnn. I've seen a few of her posts, she's awesome. (She is also a DB Sex Coach!)

Anyway, you've gotten some great responses. What I'd like to add, is that you should work on consistency with the items in your first post....and REAL GIVING.

Fun is important, but it appears that to your wife, the follow through on commitments is really important to her.

Give to her as SHE would like to receive. Not just STUFF, and not just in starting a family, but with the responsibility/character items as you described early.

FOLLOWTHRU.


(Oh. And Whitesox.)


I am working on all of that stuff very hard...and abstaining from the destructive stuff.. she knows.. but i also feel WAY better now... loving the gym...

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