Oh honey, you aren't sad or pathetic. I remember the first day I went without talking to H. It was horrible. You can probably read back in my threads and see how bad I was. We all go through that. It is very hard.
I don't think you have to disappear, but you can't start any R talks. Be happy and upbeat...show him what he is missing. I understand what you say about it not being separate enough, but a lot of people complain about not seeing their spouse enough so that they can see the changes they've made. Let's look at this positively. He will see you enough to see your changes! A small goal for you would be to not talk about the R at ALL tomorrow. It is draining and it makes him feel guilty. No matter how you bring it up he sees it as you guilting him and pushing him. If you have a draining R talk everytime you see him then he will start to dread seeing you. Keep things light.
Just give him some time to experience being on his own. I think all these visits and driving will start to get to him before long.
You need to lovingly detach. That doesn't mean being cold, that doesn't mean going dark. It just means that you need to learn how to not let the situation and his mood affect you. You need to quit focusing on him and start focusing on YOU.
