H had 3 year affair and I never knew!

[happycamper]

Why on earth would you feel guilty? the man cheated numerous times,and sadly, S seems the best answer. For a while, while my stbx went back and forth to ow he'd tell me "let's separate, I dont' want to hurt you" but I kept talking him into trying again, he just didnt' have the balls to tell me that while he was staying he wasnt' strong/willing to cut it out completely with ow. My trying to keep him just prolonged my agony and I was subjected to more indignities and lies.

I feel guilty because of what I am now putting the children and our families through, I guess. Also part of my church culture is D is wrong, and I feel abit like the scarlet woman for inputting in the decision. Although H has committed Adultery, so in theory that box should be ticked. I'm going to be a single parent and we are going to struggle financially, and the children are going to have to have that life.

However, the rest of your paragraph is a warning that I need to hear. I think I could talk H into trying again if I put my mind to it, and I would be doing exactly what you did.