I think you are right about this being the hardest part, although it is difficult to see that when you are fighting to get them to come back to you at all. Each stage has it's own challenges, but I see that it is imperative that we be patient throughout the entire process. I think back to the first bomb nearly two years ago and I would have done anything to be here. Now I know that the real work has only just begun.
It's good for me to hear about FW's depression, as I was curious about it. My H is clearly depressed, and it is something he demonstrates daily. I don't know what, if anything I can do for him when he gets that way - I don't want to push him to talk, nor do I want to make him feel that he is alone and that I don't care or that he can't talk to me. His tendency has always been to keep his feelings bottled up - and he has been practicing this for at least 24 years (as long as I've known him), likely longer. In fact, it's one of his family's legacies. H has never been one to trust in C, and the most recent experience he had did not go well. Nor does he feel comfortable w/ his Dr. as he is my Dr. as well and knows about H's A.
So I will tread carefully there and try to be supportive and loving, but firm. Time will tell, but H has has chosen to stay at the house every night since last Sat. Maybe he has stopped self medicating his depression and has decided that it's time to stop running away, and is turning to face his problems head on, no matter how bad they make him feel.
FA
What does not destroy me, makes me stronger.
FA:43, H:42 D:7 M:10 yrs, T:24 yrs EA:?, PA:1/06 S:3/07 EA/PA ongoing Aborted attempt to move home 07/08
