Watching the kids while W goes to OM

[lynn97]

Puppy your step by step analysis is exactly the way I think. It's perfect.

That would all be great, if that's what she was going to do with the time. You'll find that most of the time that you "give her space" will just be used to spend time with, and/or communicate with, her boyfriend. Couple that fact with the fact that you'd actually be ENABLING their time together, and you can hopefully see where this isn't helpful to your cause.

So should I ask her when she gets back. Maybe something like

"I need you to be honest with me. While you were out did you communicate with him?"

Then if the answer is yes...

"I know we had made plans tonight but I can't do that right now. I've got plans tomorrow and Friday since those are your days with the kids. I need some time away to think."

and then leave.

If she says no and says that she spent the time thinking about things and then at the counselors it will be more like

"I think that's a positive step in working out things. I'm glad. I also think I need some time too. I know we had plans tonight but I think I'm gonna go now. We'll talk later."

Spend tomorrow working on how to bring up the boundaries and the "ultimatum" in her words and then get back with her on Friday.

After reading this again I realize I probably shouldn't even ask about the OM...it doesn't matter at this point.

Lynn