infidelity

[MP53]

So, here you are HM!! Was worried about you over the weekend, should have looked around for you a bit more.

From what I've read here and on the MLC board, you seem to be expecting a lot to happen in the MC session next week. What are your goals for this meeting? What do you hope to accomplish?

I know that when I was first faced with my husband's decision to leave, I hoped that anyone and everyone would explain to him what a huge error in judgment he was making. We also tried counseling for a few sessions, which I "encouraged" him to go to in the interests of being better "co-parents." I was certain that the therapist would, in no uncertain terms, tell him he was being an idiot, and a cliche, and to go home. But, ya know what? Didn't work out that way.

Right now, your husband cannot and will not hear what we think of as logic. Is he wrong to be doing what he's doing? Well, it is incredibly hurtful to you and your daughter. I'm sure he knows that. But whatever is driving him to leave and be with someone else prevents him from seeing that it isn't "all your fault" that he feels this way.

The best thing to do is to focus on yourself, do the self-care that everyone is talking to you about, and act as if the marriage is gone. Because it is. You will need to build a new relationship with your husband and hopefully it will lead to him remaining in the marriage. The old relationship was not working, or he would not have felt compelled to leave. It was not working for him, and you mentioned your own depression, so maybe it wasn't working that well for you either.

I would suggest counseling for yourself even if the MC is cancelled or doesn't work out. It's so helpful to have that 3rd party listening.

Hope you had a good time out at breakfast with your friend.

P.S. I love antiques. I think the way you spent your Tuesday was great!