SOB - I can see you still don't "get" her side of things. That's ok. This will take time. If you really want to make this work out for the best for you and your wife, it will be a long road and you will have many ephiphanies along the way.
One of those epiphanies will be this: LOW DESIRE means exactly LOW desire. It is LOW. It is not sparked or ignited easily because it is LOW. If you are LD, you CAN be attracted to someone and not want to have sex with them. You can be in love with someone and not want to have sex with them. Get it? That's why it is called LOW desire.
If you can imagine that desire is a little live wire within each person. Now imagine that the wire in HD people is literally sitting right next to the other wire it needs to be attached to in order to produe desire. Its just right there, next to it.
In LOW desire people, the live wire is on the other side of the universe from the other wire, and it can sometimes require an outer space mission to find the two wires and connect them.
This is just plain REALITY. It has nothing to do with emotions, attraction, or anything else. (I am only talking about LD here, not the other issues between a couple).
Here is another point: if you are HD, then you basically want to have sex with many people you are attracted to. Would you consider this true for yourself? Your live wire is sitting right there next to the other wire, and visual attraction puts the two wires together, and voila! You feel sexual desire.
So how is it supposed to make your wife feel so loved and special that you have high desire?? You would feel high desire for anyone you are attracted to, correct?
I know this is over-simplification, and of course you do not want to have sex with every person you are attracted to...but I just want you to see the COMPLETE DIFFERENCE between the two levels of desire.
Low desire = LOW!!! Please understand that, it is not personal toward you! She was probably always this way and probably has never fully felt her desire in full force. The two wires have been too far apart from each other her whole life. This is all she knows. She doesn't know how to wire herself up, like you think should be so easy for her.
If you can really "get this" you will immediately make a HUGE step forward.
Stop taking it personally, no matter how counter-intuitive that feels. It is not YOU she is rejecting. She simply has LOW desire.
Now having said all of that ... there really is hope for you two. She really can learn how to wire herself. But she won't do it while you are secretly *hating* her for being herself as she is now. Why should she?
