5 yr DBer, "Joint" D now in progress

[cat03]

Hey there, big hugs and welcome)))))))))))))))) your story is similar to mine, depressed H, C gone wrong, pieced for while then ended up in D path.

ut, that is when things started to get even worse. H started coming home from his counseling sessions with a huge laundry list of things he hates about me and why we are so different from each other. I

When C goes horrible wrong- We had a great MC, then stbx started seing ow (I didnt' know yet) and he shut down, C saw right through him, stbx wanted another MC, we go tone, another 'new age' IC for him, and the new IC not knowing our full story told him how oppressed he was and all went downhill from there, butt old issues came alive and it turned out we were "incompatible", ummm, YEAH right.
Sadly, a small amount of C sessions do more damage than good. But you know what? the will and drive to heal our Ms was always in our H's hands, not the Cs, they should've have the spine and guts to fight for their Ms.

Nonetheless, it still feels like a failure. I feel like I've spent so many years trying to stick it out and make things better and it ends like this.

Hey, none of that! I will quote a good DB'er who knew it was almost a lost cause but kept fighting for his M: "it might be late but damn if it is going to be too little"

Who's the looser here? we, who gave it our all, DB'd our hearts out and trusted that our M could be saved or those men with their heads up their butts living in la-la land and who can't see the future 2wks from now? (really! dont' think ahead!)

I have 2 sweet kids, they of course know nothing of the hell I went through with their father and his A. But one day they might have to know, and they'll know that their mom went down fighting tooth and nail. I have no regrets, I wans't perfect and had backslides, but every morning, while he was with me, I thanked God for my family and chose to be the greatest W I could be. This trial by fire had brought me closer to God and has made me into a better person.

Had I not have kids I prob would've done what you did, just get the heck out of his area and move on and get another job near my family. Look at this change as something wonderful, as a new opportunity for you, you are still young and you have so many options in front you, you are very blessed and I know you will be more than fine.

A great book for healing is "Healed without scars", i'm reading it now and it has helped me big time.

Welcome, and I hope you find the support you need here, hugs)))))