Watching the kids while W goes to OM

[lynn97]

Wow puppy that helped tremendously. I can't say it enough but thank you. I'm struggling right now because we just had another great conversation on the phone. It was nice, I was helpful but not controlling. She's having a bad day and I only listened, but didn't offer to take care of the kids.

Of course in the end she did ask and I did say ok (I know wrong but this was before I read the post). But I really didn't want to go to work and I don't mind staying with the kids. Besides I was just going to run errands anyway and they enjoy doing that too so having them along is cool with me.

Plus the reason I said yes is that she is going to go take some time for herself to get some clarity before the counselors appointment. I think she does need to do this. I think if she got away from both of us she would see all of this, which is why I offer. But I also see now that that's trying to help her too much. It's her journey and she has to decide what to do. I realize that pulling way back is the best thing....but it's so hard to do. I really, really, really want to watch a show with her tonight. Plus I was already planning on taking both Thursday and Friday to myself to distance from her.

I think i will setup the boundary talk sometime at the end of the weekend, maybe Sunday night. I need some time to think about it. I won't see her tomorrow or Friday and Saturday only briefly to get the kids. I'm also going to set a boundary tonight of not being able to stay overnight with the kids. I don't feel right staying there and its very uncomfortable for me. If they want me there in the morning I'll just get up early and drive there so I'm there when they wake.

Tonight is the tough one. I'm seeing real progress. And no I wouldn't get back together with her tonight, and I won't be physical in any way. And I'm aware that if we do decided to work on it that she has to be in a different place. But I do want to watch the show. In fact I'll probably just watch the show and leave. But what do I say when she says what's wrong. (I know, I know that's why you don't go stupid).

Lynn