SA, I read all that. I'll probably wait and read it again before I make a longer reply. All I can say now is that I always wanted a good marriage and a happy family. I wanted to make my wife happy. I still do. I really thought I was just doing what it took to make that happen for us. I thought of it as strength, not weakness--the strength to give up what I wanted for the good of the family.
I still don't want to think about divorce. But you're right; if I'm here no matter what, no matter how miserable we both get, then the marriage doesn't mean much.
I have to get up and go in a few minutes, but maybe I'll have more to say this afternoon. Thank you for giving me so much to think about.
Bear,
As a notorious "Nice Guy" myself, I can tell you that I do NOT have all the answers, and I struggle with this too. But I can tell you without reservation that women are, by and large, NOT attracted to this:
Quote:
I wanted to make my wife happy.
Ladies, you can chime in, but what a woman THINKS she wants (and may even actively work to get), and what will ULTIMATELY MAKE HER HAPPY, are very often two different things. In any given situation, a woman will SAY she wants -- and may even TRULY want -- to get her way, but over time?? In situation after situation? She will LOSE RESPECT for you if you constantly give in to her, and will, in fact, find that quality NOT attractive.
A woman desires a man who LEADS, lovingly. Not who SUPPLICATES.
