Do YOU really UNDERSTAND that to a low desire person, loving you and being attracted to you DOES NOT make them want to have sex with you? Have you truly understood HER inner make up yet?
Honestly? No. That makes no sense to me, and I freely admit I don't understand what she's thinking or feeling. I'm trying, but I don't. Especially the part about being attracted to me, but not wanting me. It's like the word "attracted" has no meaning. Understand, I'm not trying to be recalcitrant for the sake of making this harder. I truly don't understand. Maybe I'm too focused on parsing words.
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She is a NORMAL LOW DESIRE person. That is how they truly do feel! It is not meant to hold you off, insult you or hurt you!
I get that you believe that. Now I want to believe it.
And as angry and frustrated as I am, I don't really believe deep down that she wants to hurt me. What I believed for a long time is that she has a basic conflict between two incompatible forces: she doesn't want to have sex with me, but she doesn't want to hurt me.
1. She doesn't want me. Leave aside why, but she doesn't. She thinks I would make a pleasant companion if we could just skip sex from now on. However,
2. She knows I take her rejection personally, and she knows it hurts my feelings. She would like to have her cake and eat it too by rejecting my advances, but not hurting my feelings. Her solution to this is to insist that her rejection is an impersonal thing, having nothing to do with my merits as a husband or a lover. She can't bring herself to face sex with me, but she can tell a few little white lies to spare my feelings so she doesn't have to hurt me.
I don't know what I believe today. How is it possible to know? I have to talk to her tonight. Please do come back and tell me the rest. I know I probably sound like I'm debating with you, but it's more a debate with myself. I AM reading what you write carefully. I'm trying.
