SB, * ( I was going to put SOB yesterday too but it just seemed like I shouldnt... too funny... )
DQ~ Does make an excellent point also. You are punishing her for making you feel the way you do and it is not her intention. I agree. I never outright meant to hurt my H like I tld you. And he tried many times to talk to me and I just couldnt get it.
I love him and love him dearly but just b/c I loved him did not mean I wanted to put his penis in my mouth either.
Funny how now that my H is stressed and tired and etc etc etc and I want sex..... I will say now are you doing this to hurt me? .....be it x y or z ? ....and he will Firmly reply "~NO." And I will now state " see when I did x, y or z I wasnt out to hurt you either.
He used to be where you are and he flat out told me " when you change and give me what I want then I will change"
That is how far his frustration led him. I totally get it now and yet I do think once again maybe if you step back as hard as it is and let go of the anger let go of the hurt then maybe things will start to slowly change.
I also know for me personally when he put the ball in my court I felt this weight had been lifted off of me and at the same time panic....
... how am I going to initiate all the time and be creative and knock his socks off... OMG what has he done?
Funny thing he isnt as interested as me anymore.. for years he was all over me and couldnt keep his hands off me and now this.
I do feel sad at times at how much he must have missed me just touching him.
I must also warn you I read lots of books. Including Passionate Marriage and highlighted it to death and I knew all the concepts why he did this and why I did that.
And it wasnt until I just decided to do it,, ACTION! That things changed......
I picked up a copy of Sex Starved Marriage just yesterday,, I must admit I had not read it...
But I had been using the concepts in DB~ to change my sexlife. So I will keep in touch but I am going to read for a bit. I just about finished it yesterday.
You can do this I am sure of it but I do think you need to clear your head and let go of all the anger too. Cause if you dont when she tries you may have too much resentment to enjoy it. BTDT~ God bless, ~Ali
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