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Your husband's poor decisions are what's causing his poor mood. Part of me wants to feel very sad for him and the other part wants to zap him with a stun gun* poke him in the eye.

I love your recon strategy, by the way. You are too funny.

*My foul mouth and violent tendancies need to be kept in check.


M: 37
H: 36
Married: Aug 13, 2004
Decision to Divorce: July 20, 2008
Reconciled: September 2008
Current: Ambivalence
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Girl, that was so funny how you kept yourself in check! lol

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I would have thought that zapping him with a stun gun WOULD be keeping your violent tendancies in check, girl!

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Originally Posted By: dry_heat
I would have thought that zapping him with a stun gun WOULD be keeping your violent tendancies in check, girl!


Amen to that brother. Trust me GFI...a stun gun is tame compared to some of the more gruesome and Hostel like scenarios I have played out in my somewhat twisted little brain! LOL! About the Facebook thing, I couldn't think of a name and HELLO! My last name isn't exactly common and I figured they were at LEAST on a first/last name basis, so it was the best I could do on short notice. Besides, my mom has been M & D at least 5 times so it is only one of her names. We could probably create a new last name just with the initials of all of her previous names alone!

I'm just a woman with a credit card and too much internet knowledge. \:\/

I think you guys are right though. H told me tonight that he has not "gambled" in 6 days. Playing in a "free" black-jack tournament doesn't count because it was a tournament (apparently not really gambling)& it was free (he spent none of his own money...

I praised him, but in my mind I'm thinkin' WHATEVER!!! We need an eye-roll smilie


M:39
H:39
K:S14;D8
T:22yr
M:15yrs
S:12/28/07 EA/PA
3/14/08 OW preg
11/17/08 born
12/12/08 his
~~~~~~~
Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option


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(((((((S&S)))))))

Right, it wasn't gambling...ok!

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They have to justify it somehow.
It seems he's seeking your approval on this though, no?

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I'm not sure, but even if he is I'll be hard pressed to give it. I think just even going to the cardroom is stupid, but everyone has to get better their own way I guess. I think he is just very unhappy with his life as a whole. He has dug himself in so deep, hes not sure how to get out. I just never knew addictions could be so harmful and the effects so far reaching.
I am proud of him for trying, but I also think that if he continues to put himself in harms way that he will only get sucked back in. He can't spend a bunch of $$ right now because he doesn't have it, but he gets paid next week so we will see if he is really ready or if its just talk.


M:39
H:39
K:S14;D8
T:22yr
M:15yrs
S:12/28/07 EA/PA
3/14/08 OW preg
11/17/08 born
12/12/08 his
~~~~~~~
Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option


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Do you have a joint account with him? What do you do when he runs out of money? Is your family okay with the necessities? Sorry for getting too personal and don't feel you have to answer these.

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Originally Posted By: darboyd5
Do you have a joint account with him? What do you do when he runs out of money? Is your family okay with the necessities? Sorry for getting too personal and don't feel you have to answer these.


We have a joint bill paying account but other than that we have separate accounts. He is making his regular contributions to our joint account (which I view pretty much as spousal/child support) so he hasn't gotten so bad that he is skipping those payments. I work full time so we are getting by on what I make, which we used to use for extras and fun stuff. The gas is eating me alive at almost $5.00 a gallon, but we are doing ok. When he runs out of money I guess he goes without or borrows it from OW. This is the first real period for him where he doesn't have money in the bank to gamble away and he has stopped using his credit card for that (thank God!) so I'm not really sure what he will do. I guess we will just have to watch it unfold.

No worries, I pretty much spill my guts on here, so there are very few limits.

Your theory on looking for my approval is interesting. He finds out next week what sex the baby will be...I think I may need a drink that day. Still trying to figure out HOW to tell DD6. This sucks so much.


M:39
H:39
K:S14;D8
T:22yr
M:15yrs
S:12/28/07 EA/PA
3/14/08 OW preg
11/17/08 born
12/12/08 his
~~~~~~~
Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option


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Posts: 4,521
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Good, at least he's contributing then. I was fearful that he was gambling child support as well.

You know, for sake of the baby, I really hope the doctor made sure he/she was okay with the bad STD OW had. I also hope that it's not your H's baby and he will wake up and see that she was obviously with someone else.

I was very fearful of H getting OW pregnant. I don't know how you're doing it, but I'll have a drink with you on that gender day and the birth day.

I give much kudos to you!

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