Rob- Thank you so much! I know that H's life likely won't be as wonderful as he thinks it will. It will just take some getting use to on my part to be alone. My H was married for a short time before we met and then during our marriage, had at least one previous A. Me, well, I dated before I met my H, but he's the only person I've been with for 17 years now. Maybe my fear of getting back out into the world is what makes have those thoughts of him & OW together....and that they might be happy. I just have to remember that I've done this before. It's been a while, but I did live alone. H has never been able to be alone. After I was married and would go out with my single friends, I always told myself.....THANK GOD I don't have to do this anymore. Now here I am, 40 and knowing that I'm going to have to do this again. Thankfully now 40 is "younger" in everyone's eyes than it used to be. It's not seen as so bad when you're 40 & single again. I have to keep looking at the positives and I know that there are positives out there. You had mentioned that maybe my H won't look so irresistable when OW actually comes down to having to leave her family. From all that I know, she's planning on taking her kids with her to live with my H. I think that my H won't look so wonderful to her when she sees him dealing with her kids and giving her ultimatums when he sees that this fantasy life isn't the way he wanted it.
I had a talk with one of my nieces yesterday. She's 20. I know 20 is young, but she has a better head on her shoulders than a lot of 30 & 40 year olds I know. She is very, very close to D4. I asked her if she'd be willing to be there and be a person that my D4 can reach out to and talk to if she doesn't feel like talking to me. Not someone to give advice to D4, but just to listen. She's so sweet. She said that she would do anything for D4 and it meant the world to her that I'd ask that.
H has been on/off the past few days. Leaving work early to pick D4 up, wanting D4 & I to go to the park, wanting us to wait for him for dinner, offering to play games with D4....but then leaving at 10:00 pm to go "workout". I can't be exact, but I thought both nights (or should I say mornings) I heard him come in around 2:30. He wanted to get up this morning & make breakfast for me. He did but then went back to bed. I thought both he and D4 were sleeping when I left. They called later & he asked why I didn't say good bye before I left for work. It's just odd.
I am feeling better today. I felt better yesterday too. Just had a couple of down days I guess.
Have a good Wednesday everyone!
SueS
ME: 42, H: 42, D6 Together: 18 yrs. Married: 15 yrs. Attended Retrouvaille - December 2009 Status: Working on it day by day
