How Much BS do I believe?!

[pisces9]

rollercoatser! i feel sick-
so i get an email tonight after our good lunch experience above....

he said he wants to meet to discuss the next step in the process of our relationship...but the email is also riddled with is sadness...and guilt (not good) as he is depressed more than MLC...he is sad bc our dog didnt seem to get to excited to see him and he said in the email he was heartbroken...
he said is also happy to see i am doing so well..that one of his fears was that i would be doing poorly...but im not..

so many confusing words.

my fear is that he wants to talk about D...but i dont know why i fear that.

i also was invited this summer by my bro to europe.. invited my H today- very casually in a joking kind of way light and funny...he said thank you for the invite tonight on the email and he cant even believe i would ask him to come w me after what he has done to our relationship.....but he truly appreciates it...

why am i having such a hard time viewing this email as positive? it is the first email he has written since he left our house 2 months ago that had any R talk in it...

ideas/advice?

i know to stay calm and cool.
listen and validate.
no pressure
do not react.

i feel like i need to detach more- i am happy with how much i have done but i still am emotionally dragged around by what he says...i have been told hre on this board so many times to not believe anything of what they say....that is hard..luckily this email came when i have GAL, PMA and detached enough so i am not a wreck..

i am just feeling sick right now..i was so excited after today and now this...i need to look at this like a positive thing.

I CAN MAKE IT THROUGH TONIGHT! I NEED TO SLEEP!