Lodo, you sound like what my T said to me yesterday. She said that I have been the adult in this relationship and H always depended on me to take care of things. When circumstances became to tough and I needed him to step up, he ran to find an OW. Her advise to me was to try and cut all connections at this point. She said he needs to go at it completely alone to 1) see what he is missing and 2) to force him to grow into the adult he is suppose to become.
This advice has been really hard for me to hear becasue I dont want to let him go. I miss him and just want him back, but realize that even by giving him a small amount of contact I am letting him still feel connected and cake eat.
It sounds like you have really taken the high road through all of this. That is what I trying to do as well. I read somewhere if you are nice to the WAS then it makes it so much harder for them to actually D you. SO, like you I am at a crossroad....do I cut all ties so that he can no longer rely on me and maybe be forced to grow but then its easier for him to D me or do I maintain a friendship that might result in him not feeling as bad about leaving because then he can see that I am doing just fine. I wish I had the answer for you, but as you can see I am just as lost as you are.
Nights always make me sad too.
Broken Hearted ------------------ Me - 36 H - 37 S - 8 Married - 1992 ILYNILWY - August 2007 Moved Out - March 2008 OW Revieled - May 28, 2008 Filed for D - July 2, 2008
