Just adding my $.02. If you want an example of how NOT to do things, feel free to skim through my thread. I was the nice guy, trying to be friends, avoiding the obvious. I think if I'd stood up for my wife rather than been so suppliant, things would be different. I don't know that for sure, of course, but I definitely wonder.
Anyway, listen to Puppy. He offers great, concise advice. You'll have to balance that with what you're willing/can do, but you should still listen.
lodo
Well, I mostly agree with Lodo, but I'm sorry I have to disagree that you can single-handedly always save the situation. I do think that some of our WAS are messed-up, nutty (in my H's case sorry but it's true), etc. I do think you can be the perfect DB'er and your marriage can still fail, and there are probably some that are not that great at it, and their marriages are reconciled.
I think following Puppy's advice is good, but some of it is out of your control, and I don't think anyone here should feel guilty about anything they've done or not done!!! Karen
