my story adventures of a WAW!

[christarn]

Flipper, yes deffinetly back off the R talks. I know my H when I first left when he would want to talk about us, I would cringe. When I left it was more feelings I was going thru. Now this is me doing lots of introspection and retrospection...so go with that in mind. I realize a lot of my anger was grief over my parents death that I had not dealt with, not truly understanding what I needed to be doing as a newlywed and embracing that time in my life, trying to put myself thru school and work full time...I was way overstressed and took it all out on my H and our R/M...where am I going with this you may be pondering...you were asking about PTSD and your wife...what about something else? Some type of depression, anxiety, hormone changes...I'm just saying looking back I tried putting to much on a full plate...can't help but wonder if your wife felt the same. My other clue is, I felt I just needed some time alone, to find myself and figure out this world for myself; and I like guys and love to flirt around but at the end of the day...there is no desire to have a man in my life...it would just be too overwhelming at this point in time for me.

Don't look at it as her isolating herself from people. I find solstace in spending time alone. Learning more about myself. I read a lot, spend a lot of time online...trying to learn more about my faith, things I can do to prepare myself for when(stay positive) my R/M works out. My family gets wierded out that I spend too much time alone, but it's just me doing my thing. I spent the first part of the seperation drunk, the second part, depressed and now, I'm just trying to figure out all of this craziness! I keep busy just keeping to myself. I also wonder if she doesn't want a bunch of people up in her bussiness?? I know at first when I went out a lot, everyone was asking 50bazillion questions....not so much fun when your trying to relax and figure things out.

Don't get frustrated. Keep your faith. Read the good stuff charlyne and Bob spend you. Have you checked into the joel osteen website? OMG, I get really inspired when I watch him...there are times he even says...don't give up on that marriage, don't give up, you're a child of God...be a victor not a victim...and i just feel like he's talking to me! And I get really motivated and remember what it is I'm really fighting for! Stay busy, find a new hobby. One of my friends has reccommended paint by numbers backwards or upside down...it stimulates the left side of your brain...I'm going to buy stock in the company that makes them!!! LOL

SO just a funny update on my sitch!! My H is working across the street at the medical building...and I saw him in my rear view mirror, we left work at same time today. I accidently planned that!!!! Anyways, He past me twice...I was jabbering on the phone and smoking so pretended to not pay attention...even though you and I both know I hadn't taken my eyes off of him since leaving(thank God for sunglasses)...finally the third time he pulled right up next to me laid on the horn and waived!!!! I don't think he likes being ignored!! It made me feel pretty darn good! And when I didn't waive right at first he turned around and looked back at me!! that's when I waived! score!

hope my rambles help some flipper
Christa